


Battlefield

by blankety blank (doll_revolution)



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, First Times, M/M, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 07:31:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/795464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doll_revolution/pseuds/blankety%20blank
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a thin line between love and anger.  And vice versa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Battlefield

## Battlefield

by Blankety

Pet Fly and Paramount own these characters, Pat Benatar owns "Love is a Battlefield" and I do not. Make of that what you wish.  


As always, for Alyjude.  
And subordinately, for Rosie, who LIKES songfics.

Sorry, sorry, it's a songic. Sigh. But I wrote it 'Angel Ikari' style' YAY!!  
[[lyrics are enclosed in double brackets]]

* * *

Blair Sandburg sat on the couch grading papers, trying to ignore the mutterings of his roommate Jim Ellison as he paced around the kitchen. Jim was becoming more difficult to ignore, however, because he kept muttering louder and louder. Finally, he slapped his hand down on the counter. "Sandburg!" 

"Yeah?" Blair said, without looking up. 

"Didn't I tell you to clean up this, this crap," he waved his arm at Blair's dinner dishes, "over two hours ago?" 

"Yeah." 

"So?" 

"So what, Jim?" 

"So when are you going to clean it up, Sandburg, what do you think?" 

Blair sighed, and put down his pen. "Look, Jim. I have to get these finished, and I'm kind of on a roll, here. I'll clean it up when I'm done." 

"You'll clean it up now." 

Blair picked up his pen and started grading again. "No, I will not. I will clean it up when I'm done, in about an hour. The dishes will still be there, the world will not come to an end, we will all survive." 

Jim glared, and then scrubbed his hands over his face. "Christ, Sandburg! Does everything have to be a fight with you?" 

"Duh, Jim, of course it-" Blair broke off as he suddenly realized he had said that out loud. Slowly, he lifted his head to look at Jim, who was staring at him with a shocked expression. 

Jim snapped his mouth shut and stalked over to the couch. When he spoke, his voice was low and dangerous. "Do you mean to say you fight with me about shit like this on purpose?" 

Blair abandoned his papers and stood to face Jim. "Yeah, I do, okay? So what?" 

"But, but why?" 

Blair began to pace, his hands moving impatiently through the air. "Look, Jim, you're top dog here, okay? Nobody's denying that. You're the alpha male, numero uno." He stopped pacing to point a finger at Jim. "But I am not some little submissive omega dog, last in line, you got that? I'm not some punk for you to push around." 

Jim rolled his eyes. "Calm down, Sandburg! You know I don't think that! If that's what I thought-" 

"Bullshit, Jim! You're doing it right now!" 

[[you're making me go]] 

"Sandburg, what the hell are you talking about?" 

Blair continued pacing again, unable to stand still for a moment. "What am I talking about? I'll tell you what I'm talking about! 'Wait in the truck!','Call for back-up!','Hairboy','Darwin','The Kid','Guppy'! Any of those ring a bell there, Jimmy?" 

[[then making me stay]] 

He whirled around to face Jim, who was still standing by the couch, stunned at the anger in Blair's voice. "But you know what the real problem is, what it all boils down to? You hate the fact that you need me for this Sentinel shit, just hate it. You use what I give you, you do what I tell you, but you make it clear to everyone that you're still in charge, that I'm your little tagalong, that you only tolerate me because I amuse you or something. And you sure as hell make it clear that I'm not anyone you have any respect for!" 

[[why do you hurt me so bad]] 

"Chief, that's not true! I-" 

"Just shut up, Jim! Oh, I know there are reasons for it, you always have reasons! Jim's got issues! Jim has trust issues, and betrayal issues and intimacy issues and control issues and fear issues and issues up the ass! But you know what, Jim? You know what?" 

[[it would help me to know]] 

Jim shook his head mutely as Blair came over and poked him in the chest. "I have issues too! Imagine that! I have intimacy issues and commitment issues and I sure as hell have abandonment issues! And so yeah, you've had a harsh life, filled with pain and rejection, but you know what? So have I!" 

[[do i stand in your way]] 

Blair pushed past Jim and threw himself into a corner of the couch. "Man, I always thought that your pain was more important, you know? That you needed my help more than I needed your respect." He laughed bitterly. "I'm the hippie girl's bastard, right? I was probably born more flexible, emotionally-speaking, than you'll ever be. So I figured it was up to me to suck it up and keep this thing going, regardless of how much it hurt." 

Jim felt as if he couldn't breathe, as if there wasn't enough air in the room. He stumbled over to the couch and sat down next to Blair before his legs gave way beneath him. He had to swallow twice before he was able to speak. "Chief, I, I, I never knew you felt like that." 

[[am i the best thing you've had]] 

"No shit, Jim. Didn't I just tell you that I was sucking it up? But you see, ever since that whole mess with Alex, you know, the, uh, Swim, I can't do it any more! I can't suck it up because I am so goddamned, fucking angry all the time! And I can't stand it!" 

Jim closed his eyes, and leaned back against the couch. "So that's why you're picking fights with me? Because you're angry?" His eyes snapped open after a pillow hit him in the face. He looked over to find Blair glaring at him. 

"Jim, man, you are so dense sometimes! I pick fights with you so you'll notice me! So you'll see me! Blair Sandburg, not the little lost puppy/sidekick thing you've got going on inside your head! 'Cause I'm telling you, I don't think I can go on this way any more." 

[[believe me, believe me]] 

Jim leaned forward and put his hand on Blair's leg. "Chief..., Blair. You've got it all wrong. I don't think you're a sidekick or a puppy or whatever. I do see you." 

"Jim. You don't." 

"You don't understand, Blair! I mean, you've got all the pieces, but you're looking at it backwards." 

"Really?" 

"Really." 

"Then explain it to me, because I'm so not getting it, okay?" 

[[i can't tell you why]] 

Jim rubbed a hand across his face, a hand that was shaking slightly. "God, Chief, it's just hard, okay? You know me and talking about my feelings." He risked a little chuckle, but it died in his throat as Blair continued to stare at him expressionlessly. 

Jim coughed. "Well, I think it's more like this, why I'm doing it. Not that I'm doing it on purpose!" He pointed a finger at Blair. "I'm not doing it on purpose. At least, I don't think I am." 

"What are you not doing on purpose, Jim, huh? What?" 

[[but i'm trapped by your love]] 

Jim took a deep breath, and fixed his eyes on a spot about three inches above Blair's shoulder. When he spoke, his voice had a tinge of shame to it. "Maybe I wasn't...belittling you to prove I was the big man, the guy in control. Maybe I was doing it so you would..." He trailed off, picking at a piece of lint on his pants. 

"Dammit, Jim, just spit it out!" 

Jim looked up and locked eyes with Blair, a steely determination shining through. "Maybe I was doing it so you would feel like you needed me. So that you would need me as much I as need you." 

[[i'm chained to your side]] 

"Because I do need you, Blair. I don't think I could make it without you, not anymore." 

Blair stared at Jim, shock evident on his face. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, before his anger flared again. "Well, way to fucking let me know, dickwad! Making me need you by making me feel like shit! Do you know how many times I almost left? Just got the hell out of Dodge, man? I've got a bag packed, right now!" 

Jim flinched, as if stuck, and then wiped all expression from his face. "Why haven't you left, then? Why are you still here?" 

[[i could lose control]] 

"AAAAARRRRRGGGHH!!" Blair stood up and began throwing things at Jim; pillows, notebooks, pens, whatever he could reach. Jim raised his hands, batting the objects away, bewildered by the onslaught. "James Joseph Ellison, you are a complete and utter ass! This is exactly what I mean! You don't listen to me! You never listen to me! Why am I even here when you will not listen to me?" 

Jim stood up and grabbed Blair's hands, preventing him from throwing anything else. He said quietly, "I do listen to you, Chief." 

Blair struggled in vain to pull his hands from Jim's grip. "Yeah, but only if I say 'Dial it down' or 'Piggyback it on your hearing'! You listen to the Guide, you don't listen to me." 

"I'm listening now." 

[[if your heart surrenders]] 

"No, you're not, Jim. Because if you were, you'd know why I haven't left! You'd know why I think your needs are more important than my pain!" 

"Why don't you tell me, then, one more time. I'm listening, I promise." 

Blair finally jerked his hands free from Jim, and stood before him, panting with exertion. "It's because I love you, you moron!" 

"I love you too, Chief." 

[[you'll need me to hold]] 

Blair threw his hands up into the air. "Not like that! Not like, 'You're my best friend, I love you', but in love with you, I love you. I'm in love with you, Jim." 

The corner of Jim's mouth twitched in a slight approximation of a smile. "Yeah, I got it, Sandburg. But it seems to me that I'm not the only one not listening around here." 

Blair stopped moving to glare at Jim. "What the hell are you talking about?" 

"I love you too, Chief. 'In love' love. I mean, it's hard work, being that consistently offensive. Do you think I would do it for just anyone?" 

"What?" 

Jim walked over to Blair and put his hands on his shoulders. "Chief. Blair. I've spent almost four years, working on you. Working with you. I've never tried that hard before, not even with Carolyn. I love you." 

[[heartache to heartache we stand]] 

Blair stood completely still, not even breathing. Jim shook him slightly, a little worried. Were zones contagious? "Chief? You okay there? Chief?" He was completely unprepared to have Blair shove him in the chest, hard. Jim stumbled backwards, hit the coffee table, and landed on his ass on the floor. He stared up at Blair, stunned. 

"Ellison, you fuck! You are unbelievable! It's not possible for anyone to be that stupid and live! I'm surprised you can put on your own pants, you're that dumb! 'Working on me for four years'! Christ, what an imbecile!" 

Jim gingerly rubbed his ass. "You know, your reaction isn't exactly what I was hoping for." 

Blair kneeled in front of Jim and looked him in the eye. "Well, then maybe you should have told me this after the Swim. Or Sierra Verde, or Quinn, or Ventirss. Or any of a million other times, you dick." His harsh words were belied by the softness of his tone, and the almost reverent way he laid his hand against Jim's cheek. 

[[no promises, no demands]] 

Jim reached up and covered Blair's hand with his own. When he spoke, his tone was hopeful. "Okay, granted I'm a dick, but I'm your dick, right?" 

Blair closed his eyes and sighed. "Oh, James, you've always been my dick." Jim gave a little tug, pulling Blair down onto his lap. "Yeah?" 

"Yeah. Why do you think it hurt so much when you'd insult me, make me feel worthless?" 

[[we are strong]] 

Jim wrapped his arms around Blair, and buried his face under the riot of curls, nuzzling Blair's neck. "God, Chief, I'm sorry, so very sorry. I just never thought you would want me, not that way. I was trying to make you need me more, and me need you a little less. So we'd be equal." 

Blair snorted. "Jim, we'll never be equal. I am obviously the superior man." 

Jim raised an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah?" 

"Yeah." 

"Prove it then, O Superior One." 

[[no-one can tell us we're wrong]] 

Blair's smile was slow, sultry, and lit up his whole face. "I thought you'd never ask." He tipped Jim's head away from his neck, and leaned in for a kiss. The merest whisper of a touch, his lips barely brushing Jim's, and he laughed in delight as Jim unconsciously followed every move. 

Blair leaned in again, and this time there was nothing tentative at all about his kiss. Tongues met and sparred, advanced and retreated, twining about each other in a sensuous, languorous battle. The two men sighed, broke apart, grinned goofily at each other, and then moved back to continue the kiss, closer than before, melting into one another. 

[[searching our hearts for so long]] 

Soon mere kisses were not enough. Hands scrabbled for skin, pushing clothes out of the way with fierce abandon. They rolled together on the floor, desperate for contact, uncaring of scrapes and bruises, knowing only that the culmination of their lives together, what they had been moving towards from the moment they had met was fast approaching, and they wanted, needed, HAD to be closer, touch more, push harder. 

Suddenly Blair clawed wildly at Jim's back, thrust his hips once more into Jim's, and came with a blaze of pleasure that pulled Jim's name from his throat in a raw scream. Jim felt Blair melt against him, smelled the hot and pungent scent of Blair's desire, and followed him into oblivion without a single further touch. 

[[both of us knowing]] 

Jim ran a gentle hand down Blair's back, soothing the tremors. After a moment, Blair lifted his head and kissed Jim on the nose. "There! See? Wasn't that better than telling me to wait in the truck?" 

Jim smiled into Blair's hair. "Oh, I don't know, Chief. That method has its advantages, you know." 

Blair propped himself on his elbow to stare at Jim. "You better watch it, mister. I'm not going to let you get away with that shit now, just because you're my pooky." 

Jim just shook his head and mouthed 'pooky?' at Blair, who smiled. "Oh, yeah, man, you and me? It's going to be one giant battle for supremacy." He slid his hand down Jim's body to his cock, gathered some of the liquid pooled there, and slowly, thoroughly licked his hand clean. He grinned around his fingers as Jim's eyes widened, and his breath stuttered in his chest. 

Without warning, Jim rolled over, pinning Blair beneath him. He ground his hips wantonly against Blair's, smiling in satisfaction as Blair's eyelids fluttered shut. "Well, then, sweetheart: let the games begin!" 

[[love is a battlefield]] 

* * *

End Battlefield by Blankety: blankstreet@hotmail.com

Author and story notes above.

  
Disclaimer: _The Sentinel_ is owned etc. by Pet Fly, Inc. These pages and the stories on them are not meant to infringe on, nor are they endorsed by, Pet Fly, Inc. and Paramount. 


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